There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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