Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
