I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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