so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
