I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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