so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
