apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
