ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
