i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Houston, we have a squirter
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
