look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
