I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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