My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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