he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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