its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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