Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
