Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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