come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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