Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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