Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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