i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
