My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
