Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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