May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
