Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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