I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
