just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
