note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
