I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
