Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
