He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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