Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The air taste purple.
Randomize
