Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
MIDGETS
????
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
