Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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