How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
