My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
