Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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