she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
