My hand turned me down
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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