it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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