K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
