she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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