and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
