would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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