we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
