just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
