Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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