3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he thought i was a dude.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Come on in and take your pants off
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