All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
