we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
