When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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