I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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