You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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