It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize