So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize