you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
