found the other keg... it's in the tree
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
